When the Pride Falls
by Tall n' handsome
Summary: After Mario takes a few out for a few drinks, strange things begins happening in the Smash Bros. Mansion. Pit forgets to eat breakfast, Ike gets caught with a special someone, etc. Through drama, pranks and a supernatural old lady, it's going to take some shenanigans in order for things to finally feel normal again. Rated T for language and minor sexual humor.
1. A Night Out

**After reading through this old story, I became unsatisfied. I found that the previous version was too persistant on bringing humor from profanity and aiming for simple comedy. But no, that's not enough. I've had little time to work on anything between work and school, and the fact that I was able to rewrite and perfect this topic has really brought me with some relief. If any of you remember this story, you may notice the effort. For those of you who are new, sit back, relax, and get ready for an adulterated adventure. Thanks.**

* * *

"Man! It's about time!" Link shouted enthusiastically. He thrusted his hands into the air, bumping into Lucina.

"Link, seriously. Calm down. It's just going to be a little drink." she said.

"Oh come-a on. Lucina, let-a him have a little fun. It has been-a while after all." Luigi said. Mario led the group (Lucina, Captain Falcon, Link, Luigi, Wario, Ike, Marth, Roy, Corrin, Little Mac, Samus, Dark Pit, and Mega Man, even though he didn't really drink) into the smash famous 'The Ringed Ace' bar. Before they went in, Mario swung around.

"Okay, here's the deal. I'll-a cover the drinks, as long as-a no one tells Master Hand about-a it. Also, watch-a who you-a talk to and don't-a drink too much. Last-a time, it took four of us-a to carry you, Ike." Ike blushed. "No fighting. There's enough of-a that at SSB HQ. No-a stealing or illegal stuff. Pittoo, that-a also means no, 'picking up-a bitches'. I don't-a want to hear about any problems tonight. This-a happens way to often. If-a something-a happens, tell me immediately. Do we-a have an understanding?" he asked with a stern face. Usually somebody broke at least two of the rules. Everybody nodded yes, while Pittoo rolled his eyes. "Well then, let's-a go!" Mario turned and pushed open the door. Ah, the sweet smell of alcohol. Mario walked in, followed by Luigi, Mega Man, Samus, Wario, Falcon, and Mega Man. Little Mac and Dark Pit went alone while Lucina, Link, Ike, Marth, Roy, and Corrin entered together.

"So, what's the gimmick for today?" Link asked. Corrin smirked and pulled out a bunch of notecards.

"I've written down some things that determine what, how, and when we drink. We're playing some Mario Kart later. Yeah, I know it's usually Robin's job, but he's sick. Marth and Roy, pick a card. Any card…" he whipped out a bunch of cards in his hand. The two veterans each grabbed a card, wide-eyed.

"Oh hell yeah!" Roy yelled.

"Perfect…" Marth sighed. They laid the cards on an open booth (and sat down). Lucina burst out laughing while Link held his face in his hands.

"Welp, looks like Ike gets to pick everyone's drinks. Fantastic. But Mario Kart though? Marth, I swear if you win with flipping Yoshi one more time I'll choke you out." Roy said.

"Now Ike, you don't have to tell anyone ANYTHING about what you go get. Whatever you get, we're not allowed to leave until it's gone, so go crazy." Corrin told him.

"Sweet. I've always wanted to abuse this power." he laughed, getting up. He left the booth and traveled across the massive bar to the counter.

"What did he say?" Marth asked. "Abusing what now?"

"I think he was joking Marth. Ike wouldn't do that." Link reassured him. Lucina scoffed.

"You're wrong there Link. He probably wants revenge from when you tripped and broke his TV." she joked.

"No way. Besides, it was an accident. And why is it that you guys' TV's always break?"

"I guess we're just a little too rough. Besides, I'm still not a big fan of technology…"

"Shut up grandma. Ike's planning something." Roy told him.

"Look at that cretin. He's gonna completely destroy Link."

"He probably just got the usual. Too bad, a wasted opportunity." Lucina yawned as Ike approached the table. He set down a glass in front of Corrin, Roy, Marth, and himself. Link and Lucina looked back and forth.

"Uh, where's ours?" she asked. Ike smirked and sat down two green, acidic drinks that sparkled. They looked back and forth again.

"Ike, what the-what is this?" Link stuttered.

"I don't know. Something from Pac-Man's dimension. It's called 'The Green Ghost'. Said it was pretty strong. Don't worry, I'm sure a simple martini won't hurt you. Welp, have fun you two." he grinned. Everyone else had the usual, typically all sharing a general interest in whiskey and gin. Other times they went with something like vodka and pineapple juice. But not now. Everyone snickered and fistbumped Ike.

Link: "I thought a martini is supposed to be clear and have an olive. This is just...not any of that.

Ike: "Oh yes it is."

Roy: "So you two gonna try it or what?"

Lucina: "Alright alright. You know I can't handle super strong drinks." She smelled the mysterious substance. It had no smell. Lucina took a small sip of The Green Ghost. Her throat burned like fire and she made a uncomfortable face. Ike held back a laugh.

"Enjoying yourself?" Ike chuckled. Lucina made a face. She gulped nearly the rest of it down.

"Careful Lucina. You're gonna end up hurting yourself drinking like that." Corrin warned. Lucina made strange faces. Her throat burned and she choked for air. Link looked at her then slowly pushed his glass away.

"Link, you're going to drink that sooner or later." Marth pointed. Lucina took another drink, it being better the third time, but still pretty heavy.

"So Corrin, got anything good going on lately?" he asked. Corrin lit up.

"Oh, yeah! I've been wanting to tell this one for a while now. So you remember when we took a trip to that lake, what was it called…"

"Lake Dayundi?"

"Yeah, whatever the hell it was, Daiydei or something. Anyways, you remember when we went there. We were having a good time and Crazy Hand came and started spinning trees around. Yeah, but you remember when that lady got knocked over by Crazy and started going off on a rant right?"

"Yeah, she was all like 'What is wrong with you people? You can't even apologize after knocking over an old woman? It's people like you that make this world dangerous!' What about it?" Roy took a sip.

"Yeahyeahyeah. So, afterwards, she kept following us saying 'Your bad deeds will be repaid.' or some really weird nonsense and we had to get Master Hand to get rid of her. Well, the other day, I was walking to the library and I saw the _exact_ same woman across the street, except she was talking to another guy. And I overheard her saying the same shit. 'Your bad deeds will be repaid.' I'm just thinking that she was watching some bad sci-fi horror movies and kept repeating the part that sounded threatening or whatever. But a few seconds later, he scoffed, walked into the street and got hit by a fricking car. A black ford SUV." he spoke in a low tone.

"Oh yeah, you told us about that. Said he had a broken leg, shoulder, and collarbone. Oh yeah, and his rib cage was no more." Lucina coughed.

"But the weirdest thing about it was that the lady who 'accidentally' hit him looked the _exact same_ as the lady he was just talking to."

"Eek, so scared. Oh ha ha-"

"Marth, I am not joking. There is something up with that lady, because she's creepy as shit."

"If I see her in an alley, she's getting the back hand." Lucina joked. Ike returned after running to the bathroom.

"Hey Ike, Corrin said that old lady that was bugging us is haunting him. She put a guy in the hospital." Marth said, looking up.

"Oh haha. Don't you lie to me you dragon bastard." he sat down another glass in front of Lucina, ice cubes dancing on the top. It sparkled.

"Once again, I'm serious. If you see her, run like hell. Otherwise, she is gonna bend you over and fu-"

"Can't we use self-defense and cut the witch in half? She's not screwing me over." Link said, taking a gulp from his glass. Marth laughed.

"You're not the type of person to kill somebody, Link. Only for drastic proportions."

"I think breaking my leg and shoulder are pretty drastic. If not, I'm giving back double. Both legs, both shoulders, and just for the road, throw them over a random rail."

"Random rail?" Roy asked.

"Damn straight! Toss em over a guard rail! Hey, you might even be able to take their shoes. Lord knows Corrin needs some."

"I always walk around barefoot! I don't need to wear shoes…"

"How did you even get in here? No shirt, no shoes, no service."

"Shh. Shut up dude." he warned and looked behind his shoulder. "I'm not even supposed to be here."

"Why not?"

"Hey, get me another drink." Link nudged at Ike. Ike sighed and got up once more. "Anyways, why not?"

"Because sis really wanted me to help her study World History, for whatever reason. Ever since she got here, she's wanted to understand this dimension and I really don't want help her. I said that I would, but I'm here instead. I'm just worried that Kamui will come here looking for me." he looked over his shoulder again.

"How would she know you're here?" Marth asked.

"Pit."

"How would he know?"

"Because moron, he knows Pittoo. And he knows that Pittoo was going out with us."

"Damn, we could have at least taken him to dinner first."

"What?"

"You said he's going out with us." Corrin was tempted to strangle Link, but remembered the 'No Fighting' rule. All of a sudden, a drunken man stumbled up to them.

"*hiccup* H-hey bitches. How's it ha-hanging?" he smiled with yellow-stained teeth.

"Excuse me sir, I don't quite take too kindly to being called such a term." Marth told him. "Please take your unwanted business elsewhere. Thank you sir." The man wobbled from side-to-side, grinning like an idiot.

"Na-ah mate, I gotta thing to peel."

"What?"

"Hey, little lady. How 'bout ya ditch these *hiccup* losuhs and come join a good man, eh?" he said. Roy hopped up.

"Marth doesn't want some crusty hippie like you!"

"Not me dumbass! Lucina!" they looked at Lucina, who seemed to be in a daze. Either lost in thought, or in a dazed state. Ike was heading back to the table when he noticed the weird guy.

"So guys, who's your friend?" he asked the guy. The man scoffed. "Doesn't seem so friendly."

"I just want the liddle ladi. How about you just shaddup, you dumb ass fork."

"What's a-nevermind. Look man, just piss off and go crawl back in your dumpster. You're not getting the lady because Marth doesn't want some dirty hippie like you." Ike said, sorta folding his arms after setting a glass in front of Ike. The man spoke in a strange, partly drunk, partly Australian, partly British way, partly Engrish, and pretty much every accented language there is. All mixed together, just like his drink.

"You can justa...I fuhggot wah I was sayin. Sug a dick!" he stumbled to the side. Ike shrugged and slightly nudged the man backwards. The creepy man doubled over and hit the ground.

"You trying to get arrested or something?" he frowned. Mario walked over quickly.

"I'm suing this guy!" the man yelled.

"Ike, what-a are you doing!? We just talked about this! That's-a strike one!" Ike sat down while Mario got rid of the guy before anyone noticed anything.

"Come on Mario, that fall was so fake that even I saw it. Like a cliche fall in a movie. Even more cliche than when I watched the footage of you guys beating Tabuu. I mean really, it was like 37 to one. Odds are-"

"We get it Corrin. And I disagree. That was one of the most hardcore things I took part of with Master Hand. Then, before we left, we all promised to come again in a couple of years to find out who the strongest of us all was. It was soooo cool!" Marth's eyes shone. Roy grunted.

"Lucky for you they didn't invade my world or it would've been clear who the strongest was...I didn't get invited last time but you do...bunch of bs if you ask me…" he mumbled.

"Hey guys? That drink works fast. I think it was spiked or sumthin. But anyway," Lucina whispered.

"Yeah, what's up?" Link asked.

"You wanna know a movie that just sucked ass?"

"Twilight?" Marth high-fived Roy.

"Sex and the City? Actually, nevermind. I thought that was decent." Ike shrugged.

"No, I was thinking more of MIB."

"What!?" they all shouted in unison.

"Are you insane!? That movie was gorgeous!" Corrin pounded his fist on the table.

"Nearly everything about it was absolutely scrumptious!"

"Not to mention that it was funny."

"Hold on guys. Lucina, what do you think was so bad about it?" Roy asked.

"Well *hiccup*, ahem, excuse me. But personally, I think it was unrealistic. It's kind of hard to try to make Will Smith look like a badass by running around New York City after a damn alien.

"It wasn't supposed to be realistic. Now, I sorta see what you mean by the running around NYC, but it wasn't a bad movie."

"And still, screw you. Great movie and great series. You must be drunk or something." Marth said. It was clear to them that they forgot what a low tolerance Lucina had for alcohol.

"Guys, I think Lucina's already drunk…"

"Duh. Ike already messed up, I don't want to get an earful from Mario for Lucina too. I suggest we get her out of here." Roy whispered.

"I'm not drunk! It's hardly even been 20 minutes. I'm not going anywhere." Lucina reasoned as she reached for her second drink.

"Hey look, that wasn't my fault. That guy just came out of nowhere. But yeah, you're right, we do need to get her out of here. Just say that she wasn't feeling great and went home."

"Guys, I'm fine. Quit trying to get rid of me so fa-"

"Aw crap." Corrin said, looking up to see his sister entering the bar. He crawled under the table. "Kamui's here. Don't tell her where I am. Tell her I'm not here." he hid. It didn't take long for her to spot the group and walk over.

"Hey guys, have you seen Corrin anywhere? He made a promise and isn't picking up his phone." she asked sweetly. They all looked at each other.

"Corrin said he's not here." Roy responded. Kamui raised an eyebrow.

"He said he wasn't here? Guys, where is he?"

"Damn it Roy! It wasn't that hard to just say that I was here!" he angrily whispered from under the table.

"But I did what you asked!" Roy cried. Kamui looked under the table.

"Corrin, come from under there. You said that you would help me study, remember?" she asked. He rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I remember. C'mon, let's go." he squirmed out and ruffled his hair.

"Look, if we're fast enough, you won't miss much. I just need a little help and you already seem very educated on the subject." she smiled and began to leave.

"If anything, Link has been here the longest. He would know the most about this dimension." he mumbled. Kamui turned and looked at him.

"Wait, really? Hey Link-where'd he go?" Link was hiding under the table. "Oh well, looks like you'll have to do. Let's go big bro." (and it rhymed!) she said. Corrin turned back and hurriedly whispered.

"Alright guys, you're going to have to do this without me. Make sure Mario doesn't find out. I will be back as soon as possible." he said and walked away. Ike, Roy, Marth, and Link stared as he walked away. Lucina was giggling at a joke she just thought of.

"Hey guys?"

"Yes Lucina?"

"Why is the nose in the middle of your face?" she asked. Ike put a hand on his head.

"I don't know. We shou-"

"Because it's the scenter." she smiled cheekily. Roy sighed and covered his face. He took another drink. Marth smiled but hated himself for it. Ike was more focused on the fact that the old lady was sitting across from them at the bar...

Ike looked down to see Lucina's second drink gone.

"What the hell? Lucina, did you down two of those? That's strong stuff. You're going to get us chewed out by Mario!"

"What are you talking about? I'm fine!"

5 minutes later…

Lucina was playing with her fingers. Link had a hand in his hair.

"Yep. Of course. Not even surprised that Lucina is hammered again..."

"Chill out Link. Everything's fine. Lucina is only slightly drunk." Marth said. Lucina burped. "Okay, a little more than slightly drunk. But anyway, let's go hit up a nightclub! I am ready to get it on!" Roy smacked the back of Marth's head.

"Absolutely not! Not only is that going to break all of the rules, but Palutena is on duty at the front desk and she will know something is up if we get back at 3:00 am! I don't want to disappoint her!" he stated. Marth wrapped his hands around Roy's throat. "Gah! Wait! Marth, I'm *choke* sorry!" Marth roughly let him go and dusted his hands off. The main doors flew open as a grey-haired tactician walked through the doors. Except she was a female. She looked around and walked over.

"Wassup guys!" she smiled. Ike smirked. They both had a thing for each other, but were too stupid to realize it. She sat down with them. Ike offered her a drink but she shook her head. "Now why wasn't I invited?" Robin (F) asked. Roy scratched the back of his head.

"We were afraid you'd tell Master Hand. Or Palutena." the red-haired man scratched the back of his head.

"Why in the world would I tell Palutena?"

"Roy's peepee is so hard for Palutena. He just didn't want to take the risk of you disappointing h-" Roy's hands wrapped around Marth's throat. "H-hold on! I *cough* I was joking around!" Roy pushed him back aggressively and looked at Robin.

"What he meant to say is you might accidentally spill the beans and she would have to report to Master Hand. We don't want that, right?" he gritted his teeth and looked at Marth." Marth nodded.

"Heya Robin! You are looking awful tasty today!" Lucina saluted. Robin looked at herself. She was wearing a purple shirt and jeans.

"Um, thanks? Let me guess, you guys ended up getting her drunk didn't you? Make sure you-"

"It was not our faults." Link cut her off. "That was all Ike. It was his idea. He knows she has a very low tolerance."

"Ooh, Ike, how devious. And where do you plan on taking this?" she pointed a thumb at Lucina, who was following a fly with her eyes. Ike shook his head.

"Okay, it is not like that at all. Not even a little bit. I got to choose drinks. I wanted to screw with her and Link. Simple." Robin had her head cocked and arms folded. Her smirk never left.

"Where's Corrin?"

"He left. Went to go study like a nerd." Ike finished his drink and pushed it to the side. Marth whispered to Roy and they snickered.

"You two start dating yet?" Roy asked Ike and Robin. In an instant, Marth slammed his head on the table and Robin's face fluttered to a bright pink. Ike looked away. Lucina stood up and barged past everyone in the way.

"Lucina, where are you going?" Link asked.

"I gotta take a pee." she walked off. She walked into the men's restroom and Link had to football run in order to get her.

"On the subject of urine," Robin started, "why'd you guys come here? It smells like piss and moldy crackers. Like an old guy died under the table." she pinched her nose.

"Don't change the subject Ro-" Marth covered Roy's mouth.

"Looks high-class to me. Got a nice, homey kind of feel to it." Ike said.

"No, it smells like piss and crackers. I don't plan on drinking tonight. Finish up and we can go?"

"Where are we going?" Marth asked curiously. Link had pushed Lucina back to the table.

"Don't play dumb with me. I don't care about whatever fancy cards you guys do at the beginning of drinking, I just know you play Mario Kart every single time and you're not leaving me out. Besides, Mario is going to kick your asses if he finds out Lucina is piss drunk. C'mon, let's hit it." she stood up. Ike had already finished, as well as Link and Marth. Roy downed the rest of his like a moron. Link grabbed Lucina's hand to lead her out.

"Link, where you going? I wanna come too!" she stood up and stuck close to him. Ike bought two bottles of Jack Daniels' Whiskey even though there was no alcohol allowed in the mansion. Ike flashed Mario a thumbs-up as they left. Mario nodded. Then he caught Pittoo making out with a chick and ran after him.

They were nearly home when Lucina decided she didn't want to walk anymore. "Ro-oy. My feetsies are tiiiired. Can you pick me up?" she whined. Roy threw his arms in the air.

"I swear to Naga, this happens every time. It's not even like you ask the big lug, you ask goddamn Roy. No. Get Marth to do it." he continued walking ahead of everyone. Marth crouched down and she climbed on his back for a piggyback ride. Robin scratched the back of her head.

"Seriously Ike, what did you give her?" she nudged his shoulder.

"Nah, nothing really. Link had the same thing. 'Green Ghost' or something from Pac-Man's world. Funny thing is that there is no green ghost in pac-man."

"Ike, come on. This is Pac-Man we're talking about. He's got some crazy junk in his universe I bet. You can't just pull out random stuff big guy. What if it killed her?"

"I sue, I win, I get her life insurance money, I live a good life." Link jumped ten feet into the air.

"It's the old lady!" he pointed far off. The was an old hag hiding behind a building giving them the death stare. "We need to leave now!"

"Hey Marth?" Lucina asked. Marth sighed.

"Yes Lucina?"

"Can we go to the park? I could really go for feeding some ducks right now."

"No Lucina. It's 19:21 right now. We can't go to the-"

"Don't treat me like a kid! Put me down this instant!" Marth let her down. "Now you listen here mister. Just because you were here first and you have the same hair as me doesn't make you my father!" she pointed a finger at Marth while he held his hands up defensively. "You can't tell me what to do anymore! If I want to taste the bath soap, I'll taste the bath soap! And if I want to stuff my bras, I can stuff my damn bras! I don't want to hear another word about this anymore! And you're not allowed to put me to bed anymore! There! I said it!" Marth looked around to make sure he was hearing correctly. "Can you pick me up?" she held her hands in the air.

"Lucina, I haven't said anything about any of those things except for the bra stuffing. I just thought you could do without it, but whatever man." he gave her a piggyback ride. Ike was laughing too hard to stand. The old lady in the distance had disappeared.

The group arrived at the mansion in just a couple of minutes. Peach was watering her garden in the front. Villager was putting something in some type of bag that kinda looked like a body in the cellar with his friend Villie. Little Mac was doing push-ups for the next tournament and Robin was lounging in a lawn chair with a book in hand. It had been warm that day and not very eventful. So when Marth brought a squirming Lucina in his arms, it wasn't normal for people not to wonder what was going on. Mega Man, who was passing by shook his head, not even wanting to know. Marth set Lucina onto her feet and she wobbled onto the ground. WIthout words, she grabbed Link by his shirt collar and drug him to Peach's garden.

"Uh...what is she doing?" Ike whispered to Roy.

"I have no idea. I don't think that you should get Lucina a drink so heavy next time. She's acting weirder than usual."

"Perhaps she-" Lucina threw Link onto Peach's tulip's making her jump in surprise.

"Lucina! What are you doing?" she cried. Lucina stumbled to the side and pointed a finger at her.

"Hey, don't look at me 'cause you don't have plants! Your garden needs some green so I put Link there. Your tulips stink." she stuttered. Peach didn't take it too kindly when people talked about her flowers. Out of all things that she took pride in, her garden was one that she put much work into. And although it wasn't perfect, it looked great and really added personality to the Smash Mansion's front yard. And it made her happy. So when someone has something negative to say about her flowers, it had better be creative criticism otherwise, you'd better be prepared.

Peach took a deep breath. "Lucina, are you feeling alright? You're acting...strange." she asked calmly. Best to analyze the situation than to jump to conclusions.

"Yeah! I am strange! So what?" she tripped over her fingers. The Princess looked at her strangely.

"Yo-"

"No! I've had it with this monstrosity! I'm getting rid of these weeds!" She called out and pulled her sword out. Peach jumped in surprise as Roy tackled her to the ground.

"OkayLucinatimetogonowseeyaPeachbye!" he had her in a full nelson and dragged her through the mansion doors. Ike quickly picked up her sword and grabbed Link. They really needed to get out of there before she noticed her crushed tulips.

If it wasn't clear already, Lucina was smashed. She had too much to drink (although it was only two and a half) and was scaring people. As they entered, Robin (F) stopped to check on her brother.

"Hey, how are you feeling? Better?" she put a hand on his forehead. He was slouched in the chair.

"Not great. I thought getting some fresh air would be better, but it's just making my head hurt. It's really cold." he handed the book to her and she pulled him to his feet.

"Come on little bro, let's get you back to your room. Ike, I'll catch up with you." she said. He nodded and followed the others. Palutena was at the front desk taking sign-ins since the person who would normally do it is on vacation. She is being paid, so that's cool. She smiled as her chin rested in her hands.

"Hello everybody! Good to see you back safe and sound!" Roy sped past her while dragging Lucina. "Roy, where are you-ah nevermind. Say, I smell alcohol. Ike, what's in that bag of yours?" her expression changed slightly.

"Whiskey-oops, I mean water." he accidentally slipped. Palutena closed her eyes and nodded.

"Just as I figured. Ike, you do know the consequences for bringing alcohol into the mansion right? I'll let it slide this time only because Mario told me that he'd take responsibility, but any further offenses and I will take matters into my own hands. Understand?" she winked.

"Yeah, I got it. Thank you mam." he walked up the stairs. Marth and Link proceeded after him. Palutena thought about Roy and smiled warmly.

It took awhile for everyone to get things set up in Ike's room, but it happened eventually. Lucina was sprawled out on the couch when Robin (F) and Corrin walked into the room. Link waved as he was hooking his Nintendo Switch into the TV.

"It is about time you guys showed up. We're ready to play. Shulk's in the bathroom and Ike will be right back." he told them. Corrin looked tired and Robin was smiling as usual. Roy and Marth were arguing in the other room.

"Are Roy and Marth going through a marriage crisis or something?" Corrin asked.

"I'd ship it." Robin said.

"Uh no. Actually, let me go check." Link got up and peeked his head around the corner. "Will you two shut the hell up!? Thank you." Lucina cocked her head.

"Hey! That's not very nice Linkle. You should learn better table manners." she pointed a finger. Link booted up the TV and turned on Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. Robin jumped over the couch and grabbed a controller. There were more than one tv so they could all play by linking together. It's not even like Master Hand gave them this. They had to earn it via tournament revenue, so it was very often used by everyone. Ike kicked the door open.

"Okay boys, we ready or what?" he sat on the couch next to Robin. Shulk hurried out of the bathroom and grabbed a controller.

"Roy! Marth! Get in here!" Link yelled while giving Lucina a controller. After everyone was sitting and ready to lose, Ike announced his brand new rule.

"Alright, we're doing something different today. Palutena let me in with alcohol just this once, so everybody under 3rd needs a shot of this." he sat one of the bottles down. Robin shook her head.

"I have a tournament match first thing in the morning."

"Tough luck then. Don't lose." she shot Link a mean look.

"Come on man, I never win. You're going to end up killing me." Corrin whined.

"Blah blah blah, let's go." Marth said while picking Yoshi.

"Dibs on Lemmy," Lucina called out. "My boy bout to come in clutch."

( **Characters:**

 **Shulk - Bowser**

 **Roy - Dry Bones**

 **Marth - Yoshi**

 **Lucina - Lemmy**

 **Robin (F) - Inkling Girl**

 **Corrin - Daisy**

 **Ike - Baby Rosalina**

 **Link - Link**

Not even a minute later (Stage Thwomp Ruins)…

"Damn it Lemmy! You suck so bad, why are you even on this game? Which one of you blue-shelled me!?" Lemmy had fallen into last after just being in first for the whole game.

Roy: "Get outta here Lucina, here comes ya boi Dry Bones." a thwomp squished Roy to mush. "Son of a-grr! This game sucks!"

Ike: "Who the hell is Bowser? Stop ramming into me!"

Shulk: "Then get out of the way loser!"

Marth: "Dude, Link's in first. Wait a minute, Link, are you playing Link!?"

Link: "Hey man, don't be salty you're not in the game."

Corrin: "Imagine being that full of yourself."

Link: "Screw off. I was there for a reason. Mario Kart is much better out here than on the actual track. That was awful. Never going back." Link was hit by a red shell from Yoshi. "Yoshi is a bad character!"

Robin: "Oh yeah, there's the finish line baby!" Robin (Inkling Girl) was knocked out of the way of the finish by Yoshi, who took first place and won. "No! No you bastard! Get up squid!" she was still in hit stun when Dry Bones and Bowser drove past the finish line. She landed fourth. "You've got to be kidding me."

Ike: "Seriously Shulk!? Man, fuck your Bowser."

Shulk: "Nope. Don't give me salt, take your shot loser." he handed him a shot glass. Link and Daisy crossed the finish line, landing 7th and 8th. Marth had his hands behind his head.

"You guys make this way to easy. No drinking for me this time." Marth, Shulk, and Roy were all exempt this time. Link grumbled as he took a shot.

"Ike, what did you even get?" he frowned.

"Just some Jack Daniels. Best type of whiskey." Everyone else got their drink and voted on the next race. Link was really starting to feel the kick.

Link: "Okay, I felt that. I'm really feeling it."

Shulk: "Oh haha. Vote for the stage already."

Lucina: "Why is Dire Dire Docks not on here? Is it not a track?"

Robin: "Dude, Dire Dire Docks is a stage from super mario 64, not this. Then again, I could see that as a stage."

Ike: "Please please please let the stage be Dry Dry Desert."

Marth: "No! I hate that stage!"

Roy: "Good, it's about time you lost for once." the randomizer went through the voted stages and landed on Yoshi Valley, picked by Marth.

Marth: "Awe yeah, you know it!"

Corrin: "Get ready for this shit show. Yoshi is starting to piss me off."

Robin: "You leave that poor dinosaur alone. He hasn't done anything wrong."

Lucina: "Yo, if someone were to use Lakitu, would he be able to start the race as well?"

Link: "There's more than one Lakitu. There are several Lakitus." Link stared at the TV as the race started. "Whoops, bad start. Aaaaaand I'm in last."

Corrin: "That's what you get for using Link."

Link: "Shut yo Daisy ass up and get back to last place." he was catching up to Corrin.

Corrin: "No, I don't wanna go! I'm sick of getting last!"

Ike: "What moron thought it was a good idea to make all of these branching paths? Which one is the fastest?" Baby Rosalina swung around the corner super hard and flew off the stage. "I will punch Hideki Konno in the dick."

Marth: "You see, the trick is to drift around the giant egg towards the end of the track. Do it perfect and you can boost onto the bridge here." Marth burped. He was beginning to feel the buzz. He crossed the finish line and began lap 2. Roy turned too hard and crashed into the wall.

"No! Crap, wait, hold on, wait..." He backed up and got hit by a bullet bill. "Oh please not like this." he was down in fifth place. He sped up as Lemmy was getting ready pass him. "No Lucina. Not today."

Lucina: "Oh, you thought I forgot about that blue shell last round huh? You about to eat shit! You...uh...potato douche." she picked up an item box and got a banana. "Of course. Nevermind, you'll eat shit later."

Link: "Dude, that Green Ghost acid has got me hammered."

Ike: "Roooobiiiin, here I coooome." he sped with a mushroom into another item box.

Robin: "Don't you dare Ike. Leave me al-" he rammed her out of the way and dropped a bomb in her path. "Oh?" she attempted to drift out of the way and it worked. But Dry Bones accidentally ran into the bomb and blew them both up.

Roy: "Which one of you threw that bomb!?"

Robin: "Everything was fine before you ran into the bomb!" she began driving again when Daisy hit her with a green shell. "Corrin you c-"

Corrin: "To be fair, that was for Roy. But at least I'm not in last."

Link: "Aw, screw the giant Yoshi egg! I was in second!" Link was now in sixth. He was definitely drunk now. "Man that sucks. It reminds me about this video where this chick is carrying this jug of milk and she falls. Milk goes everywhere, splats her shit right up. Painted her better than an inkling, you know what I mean?"

Ike: "Link, what in Sam Hill are you talking about?"

Link: "Well I'm feeling like that right now. Dear gods my hands are sweaty. There's so much hand-cheese on this controller. Yo Marth, you're pretty quiet over there. What'cha doin buddy?"

Marth: "Finishing third lap."

Lucina: "What!? I thought I was doing well!"

Marth: "You're in fourth Lucina. I'm already done. You're doing terrible."

Ike: "Doesn't matter, I'm done now." so he thought. He was drifting across the finish line when a star-powered Bowser blew Baby Rosalina into the sky.

Shulk: "Oooh! You like that shit Ike!? Move outta my way and let me get that second place!" he yelled and popped-off.

Ike: "You bastard! Bowser is so stupid! Man, whatever. I'll take the third place. Goddesses. This game does ruin friendships." he inched over the finish line right before Lemmy could take third.

Shulk: "Oh, poor Ike. I'm sorry."

Ike: "Don't talk to me." Daisy, Dry Bones, Link, then Inkling (girl) passed the finish line in that order.

Robin: "Eighth place. Ike, please don't make me drink." she held his arm and whispered to him. He shrugged.

Ike: "That's not up to me. If it were, I'd say yeah, but you know the rules. You gotta play to win sweetheart. This ain't kindergarten. This is war." she smirked and nodded.

Robin: "Yeah, I figured. That's fine. You guys are going to have me wrecked tomorrow." she poured a shot and swallowed it down. "At least it's not that bad. What time is it?" she asked. Shulk looked down at his watch.

"8:47 pm." Marth scoffed at Shulk for not using Military time. Robin yawned.

"Okay, one more and I gotta go." she replied. Marth nodded.

"I've got to go as well. There is some things I have to take care of in the morning. The bank is trying to use some asinine policy in order to rob me out of money." the hero-king said. Roy smirked.

"Me three. I need to go...uh...do important stuff too...I am also busy."

"Face it Roy," Link started. "You don't and never will have stuff to do. You're like that old lady."

"Okay asshole, screw you too. Pick the stage already."

Ike: "Corrin! I just noticed, you didn't get last place that time! Congratulations!"

Corrin: "Wait, dude, you're right! That's what's up!"

Ike: "Good, now drink up. Don't try to cheat me." Corrin happily took his shot as the stage was chosen.

Shulk: "No. Oh no. Oh no god no. Lucina, why would you pick Rainbow Road? No, I don't want to go…"

Link: "Well spank my ass and call me Susie."

Robin: "Oh come on, really?!"

Marth: "I'm still getting first."

Roy: "Yeah, we'll see."

Not even five minutes later…

Roy: "No! Don't let Yoshi get first! Somebody stop him!" he cried. Inkling (girl) threw a blue shell.

Robin: "Kiss my ass Marth!"

Marth: "Try me!" he skid to a stop and let Roy pass him by.

Roy: "Who's talking now Marth?" the blue shell sped into him at mach speed and blew him out of the galaxy. Yoshi drove forth and skid across the finish line. "Robin you cuck!

Robin: "Hey, you asked for help! Who made this awful course!?"

Ike: "Lucina, this is all your fault. Now I hate Shulk and Marth." Shulk flipped him off while Marth flipped his hair.

Shulk: "Oh my god, finally done." Shulk felt relieved as Bowser passed the finish line. He got third and hadn't drunk a single time during the whole game.

Lucina: "No no no!" she flew off the stage again. "That was your banana peel Corrin! You suck!"

Link: "This controller is so sweaty right now. It's like when that chick spilled mil-"

Ike: "We just went over this dude."

Link: "Whatever dude. But it's like i dropped it in the toilet and put my hands on it before letting it dry. That's how wet this thing is." Roy was making his last lap around. He hadn't realized that when he had passed Marth up that he wasn't on his last lap. So he didn't get second. Baby Rosalina did.

Roy: "Why is the road so curvy! This is hell incarnate!" Roy's phone started ringing. He switched the Joy-con controller to his left hand and dug into his pocket with his right. He was driving like a mad man. "Hello? Oh, hey Palutena! What's up?" he pressed the phone between his ear and shoulder and grabbed the Joy-con with both hands. Marth started laughing.

Marth: "*imitation Palutena* Oh Roy, you're so cute. You mind bringing your sweet body to the front desk? It's time for me to show you the touch of a goddess." he started making kissing noises.

Roy: "Huh? Oh yes, I'll be down there immediately. Okay, I'll see you in a minute." Roy hung up.

Marth: "Wait, that's actually what she said? Damn I'm good."

Roy: "No you dumb bastard. She didn't say anything like that." he threw a couch pillow at him. Inkling (girl) crossed the finish line with Lemmy right on her tail.

Robin: "So close, but yet so far Lucina. Nice try."

Lucina: "Yeah, whatever. Just give me another shot. This is worst than watching a woman spill milk-"

Ike: "Will you guys stop saying that?"

Lucina: "Never, I just thought somebody would have." Dry Bones and Daisy drove past the finish line. Robin set her controller down.

Robin: "Well, that was just the worst. Should of played Mario Party instead."

Marth: "The mother of all friendship enders."

Ike: "Mario Kart is a close second though. Welp, drink up losers." Corrin sighed and took his third shot. He coughed and stood up.

Corrin: "Well, I would say that was fun, buuut...die Marth."

Marth: "Right back at you loser. All of you got your absolutely destroyed. And to add insult to injury, I was using motion controls today the whole time."

Link: "What!? You're lying! You're lying!"

Roy: "No way. Bump this. I'm out. See you guys tomorrow." Roy took his shot and opened the door. As he did, he found Simon standing, preparing to knock.

Simon: "Oh, good evening Roy. Would you all mind keeping it down a notch? Some people have things to do in the morning."

Roy: "Don't even worry about it buddy. We're all done here anyway." he stepped past him and began down the hall, mumbling to himself. "Yeah, I got things to do too. I'm sooooo busy…" As he trailed off, Link stood up and stumbled to the side into Lucina. Simon gently closed the door.

Ike: "Great, they're both drunk. Well, I'm not leading you back to your rooms. Enjoy." he turned the TV off with a remote. Link tried to walk normal but looked like a horse on its back legs. He walked towards the door and tried to push it open.

"Come on you wooden jerk! Open already!" Link was pushing his hardest.

"No-Link. You gotta-dude, just, no. Pu-pull the door Link. LINK. Pull." Ike facepalmed. Robin's head was rested against Ike's shoulder (unintentionally). Lunk, I mean, Link pulled the door open and walked out while waving. Lucina was leaving too when she walked right into the door, thinking it was still open. Marth sighed and stood up.

"Come on Lucina, let's go." He opened the door and drug her out. "See you all tomorrow!" he closed the door behind him. Corrin and Shulk got up and stretched.

"Well, looks like that time of the day. It was fun. Bowser is best, remember the prophecy and you shall live long days." Shulk walked out. "Ciao."

"Careful Ike," he signaled towards Robin. "You know if someone sees or hears about this, it'll be a big deal." Corrin said while heading for the door. He winked at the drowsy Robin resting on Ike's shoulder. Ike rolled his eyes and Corrin closed the door behind him. Although it was early for party times, it was late for work times. And everyone (except Roy) had things to do. Ike gently shook Robin back awake.

"Robin, you fell asleep. Were you planning on heading back to your room?" she looked up at him.

"Meh, five more minutes. You're kinda warm." she scooted closer to him and closed her eyes. Ike shrugged.

"Suit yourself. I just hope Master Hand doesn't find out." he put the lid back on the Jack Daniels and dozed off asleep right with her. If Master Hand were to find out, he'd be furious.

* * *

 **Enjoy? There's always more coming. Make sure to follow in order to stay tuned. Also, leave any comments or criticism in a review or DM me. Man, it feels great to be back. You guys are pretty cool. Pretty King K. Kool if ya know what I mean.**


	2. A Road Less Traveled

**So, what's your favorite food? Mines sand.**

* * *

Robin was nuzzled into Ike's arm when morning rose. The two hadn't done anything shameful and hadn't even realized that they cuddled through the whole night, let alone weren't dating or even ever planned to. But they slept warmly and comfortably side-by-side on the couch. It was peaceful. Ike's loud snoring ended up waking Robin. She didn't even realize she was awake when her eyes opened. She was being held so gently and she drifted back asleep.

Until she realized that the clock on the wall had read 9:19 am.

"Oh my god!" she jumped up and shouted. Ike woke with a jolt.

"Who died!? What!? What happened?"

"Let go of me you perv!" her face turned red as Ike's arms were gently wrapped around her. Ike grabbed his head and groaned.

"Ugh, my head. There's the hangover. Wait, did we sleep together? Er, I mean, sleep while together?" he asked. Robin was red like a tomato when she looked at Ike.

"N-no! Of course not! I was coming to wake you up and you grabbed me in your sleep!" she lied. She fell off of the couch and began running around the room. "Oh crap! My match! It's at 9:30! I need a shower, comb my hair, eat breakfast, get dressed! What am I going to do!?"

"Gah, not so loud. My head is killing me."

"This is serious Ike! I'm getting in the shower, go get my clothes and leave them outside the door!" she kicked her socks and shoes off and ran towards the bathroom.

"Wait, what? I can't have a naked girl in my bathroom Robin! Master Hand would kill me! No seriously, he would squish me with a mallet." before he could finish, Robin pulled her shirt off and ran into the bathroom. Ike sighed and stood up. "Nice view by the way. I like the purple bra. It matched your shirt!"

"Piss off!" he headed to his door leading to the rest of the mansion. He grabbed his head once more.

"It is too early for this…" he said and headed to Robin's room.

Despite two of the smashers sharing a name, they did not share a room. Normally they would, but Master Hand was uncomfortable with having a male and female living in the same room. Even if they were siblings. Master Hand had a very strict rule about sexual conduct and romantic activities. But Link and Zelda always found some way. Anyway, Ike felt his hand against the wall as he walked up the stairs. On the way, he ran into Yoshi, who waved.

"Stupid Mario Kart asshole…" was all Ike's response. Yoshi had no idea what he did, but it did hurt his feelings. He rounded the corner and walked down the hall a little bit to stop at a door that looked like the other doors. He opened it up and stumbled in.

"Robin's room always did have a nice smell." it smelled kind of like cocoa butter. He walked over to her closet and opened it up. She had two sets of battling gear in case she had two matches and no time to wash clothes. He picked it off of the hanger and grabbed her sword sheathed in the corner. "Where is that stupid book?" he looked all around until it fell off of a high shelf and hit him in the head.

"Son of a-mother-god da-gah! Ugh, my head! Augh!" he cursed under his breath and grabbed the book. "At least I found the damn book." Now that he'd found the damn book, he quickly walked back to his room. When he got back, it was 9:25 and Robin had a towel around her upper-body. Ike held up the clothes.

"Here you go."

"Don't look you pervert! Get out!"

"To be fair, this is my room. Not sure why I-" Robin picked up a bottle of lotion and threw it.

"Ow, you hit me in the mouth! That hurt. Look, I'm just trying to do what you asked me to do. Take the clothes." He held the folded clothes out in one hand. She quickly snatched the clothes while the towel bobbed up and down. She hadn't noticed.

"Th-thanks. Now can you leave!?" she was still flustered. Ike sighed and nodded.

"Jeez. Kicked out of my own room…" before he turned around, Robin's towel fell slightly and Ike caught sight of something special. Robin screamed and threw the half-full alcohol bottle at Ike. "Are you insane!?" he ran and took cover behind the door. There was a loud sound of glass shattering. Mega Man turned the corner to see Ike perched against the door.

"What was that noise? You alright buddy?" he asked. Ike was breathing frantically.

"Nah, that was really close."

"Why, what happened? You being attacked?" Mega Man ran over to help.

"No dude, it's nothing really. I just saw a boob."

"Yep, and with that, I'm gone. I don't even want to know." he skid to a stop and shook his head. He trekked down the stairs.

"Dude, I'm serious! Don't'cha want to hear about it?"

"Nope!" Ike slumped against the door. His head was throbbing and he was still sleepy. And hungry. Who knows how long he would have to wait. He didn't even put on sleeping clothes before he went to sleep last night, so his jeans and shirt were clad in sweat.

"Ugh, this isn't even comfortable…" he looked down at his watch. 9:27. "Robin! Come on! You gotta go and I'm sleepy!" the door opened up and Ike hit the floor. She was fully dressed. "Well that was fast." his hair began to sop up the whiskey.

"Get off of the floor, we have to go! Watch out for the glass."

"What do you mean we!?" he picked himself off of the floor.

"W-well, you just bought a car, so I was hoping that-"

"Nope. No dice. Way too early for that bullshit." he walked past her and she grabbed his arm.

"Please Ike? C'mon, I'm still new to technology. You've been here before. I don't know how to drive." she begged. Ike turned around. Although he was going to say no, he made the mistake of looking in her eyes. He sighed and grabbed his keys off of the wall.

"Let's hurry."

They turned the corner and found that the elevator was already closing. Little Mac and Pikachu were inside.

"Hold the elevator!" Robin shouted. Little Mac opened the elevator doors at the last second. The two ran inside.

"Thanks Mac. 1st floor please." Little Mac wasn't fighting today, so he didn't have his gloves on in case you were wondering. His hands were actually really soft ironically. He turned to Ike, who had his head against the wall.

"Ike, you don't look so good. You alright buddy?"

"Nah, I've got a massive hangover from last night. Palutena let me in with whiskey and I had a little too much. But on the plus side, Robin fell asleep in my arms and we slept together, so it's a win-loss loss-win type of situation." Robin kicked Ike in the shin.

"He's drunk. What he meant to say was he had a rough night and I came over this morning to check on him. That's what happened. All alcohol stayed at The Ringed Ace. Don't worry about it." she winked. Little Mac shrugged.

"You guys did leave early last night. Roy told me you guys got Lucina hammered and didn't want Mario to find out. Wait a minute, Pikachu, you didn't hear any of that, did you?" he asked, forgetting the pokemon was also in the elevator. Pikachu looked at Little Mac, Robin, and Ike, who was rubbing his aching shin. He nodded 'no'.

"Right on Pikachu. Right on." Ike said through grit teeth. The door opened at the first floor. Little Mac and Pikachu both got off. As the doors began closing, Little mac flashed a thumbs-up.

"Congrats Ike on woo-ing Robin." the doors shut and Ike smirked. Robin became flustered.

"N-no! That's not what happened! None of that happened!" she attempted to shout through the doors, but the only one who heard was Ike. The doors opened to the garage and Robin shoved Ike out. "Let's go already. I'm going to be late!" Ike stumbled forward and regained his balance. Due to 'Smash Rule #87, in order to keep the safety, luxury, and professional look of the Smash Enterprise, all vehicles belonging to the SSB HQ, SSB Staff, or SSB Cast must be a solid color marked with the SSB logo at all times.' There were still different styles of car that could be obtained or purchased, but it could only be one-two solid colors with the smash bros logo. Ike recently bought a red Subaru Crosstrek (look it up) with the smash logo on it. He was still paying the lease on it, but that's just life. Robin ran up to it, still impressed how he could afford it. Not easily, as he would be eating cup noodles for the next couple of months, but it was (hopefully) worth it.

"Ike, this car is so nice. I wi-wait, what time is it?" she quickly got in. Ike started the car up as fast as he could.

"It's about 9:29. You're going to be a few minutes late."

"That's fine, I get five minutes before I'm disqualified. Let's just hurry as quick as we can." she sat her large tome down and laid the sheathed blade to the middle of the seat. Ike pulled out of the spot and drove up the ramp, leaving the garage. Today was a particularly busy day. There were cars flying left and right. Ike quickly took an opening and continued down the road.

"Who is your match against?" Ike asked to help time pass by slower.

"I have two of them today. Right now, I'm fighting against Mewtwo. It's going to be super crowded today, so winning is crucial for a big money bonus. My second is a team battle. Me and Kirby against Olimar and Duck Hunt. Like I said, it's going to be packed tight, so I really need to win." Ike swung around the corner to the giant dome arena. There were pedestrians everywhere. "I think I've got an idea on how to secure victory with the team battle, but I'm not sure about the 1v1 with Mewtwo. He's been on a small winning streak lately after taking out Roy, Game and Watch, Falcon, and Fox. But I plan on that ending, so it's all good." The two were slowly driving past excited children, busy women, and people seeing Shyguys for the first time in real life, as they were taking money at the door.

"I won't be able to watch your first match. Way too tired. And my head is killing me. I'll have to watch the replay somewhere else. But I will be here for the second." Ike pulled into a parking spot. It was 9:33 am. "You need to go. Don't forget, avoid close contact with Mewtwo. Try to use your spacing with Archfire or your b-air. Letting your guard down will only get you into a d-tilt f-air combo and he'll kill you faster with n-air to d-air. Other than that, good luck!" he smiled. Robin nodded and grabbed her sword, getting out of the vehicle. "Don't forget about the damn book." he pointed. She grabbed the damn book and closed the door. Ike sighed and rolled down his window to get some air. Robin popped up on Ike's side of the car.

"Ike…?"

"What are you still doing here? Don't get disqualifi-" she kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks for the ride!" she ran towards the dome arena. There were several hoots and hollers from her fans as she entered the building. Ike was pissed off that he didn't see that coming. Nor was he prepared for it. But on the other side, he began to count his fingers.

"1. She sleeps in my arms."

"2. I see a boob."

"3. A cheek-kiss."

"I think I know what's coming up for number four if you catch my drift! Choo choo! WoOoO!" he shouted. Then sighed. 'Who am I even talking to…?" he pulled out of the parking spot and headed back to the mansion. Apparently he was speaking to the creepy old lady because she was the only one listening.

The inside wasn't like a barbaric gladiator colosseum. It was full of technology and booths. Robin had been passing by all of the people and fans. She accidentally bumped into a strange old lady pretty roughly, but there was no time for apologizing. The smashers and those battling would enter a door only for them that led to a portal. That would take them to the very guts of the arena, onto the selected stage and to the area that was, simulated. Instead of a simulation, it was a simulation, but the REAL smashers were transported inside of them. This prevented them from death, mortal injury, or blood loss. Robin blazed past all of the people to the 'SSB CAST ONLY' marked door. It was guarded by a buff Shy Guy. Like I mean straight shredded. Absolutely ripped beyond belief. Most people called him 'Buff Shy Guy', but he preferred to go by Leslie…

"Didn't think you would make it! You got less than a minute to get in there." he side-stepped Robin as she barged through the doors. The portal was just a few meters away. With time fleeting, she quickly ran along and dove into the portal.

The live audience was sitting in the far-off bleachers watching the HD simulated battle through clear glass windows. Like I said, although it was a simulation, it looked real. As if the smashers were right in front of them fighting on a whole new world. None of the holographic stuff, the actual real live action kind of shazaam. Mewtwo had already been on the stage, waiting for his opponent. Everyone had. It's not a good thing for people to be late. But Robin stumbled in through the simulation. The stage was Smashville, one of the few tournament legal stages. Mewtwo jumped up. He was getting impatient. The crowd cheered as Robin finally entered the fight. The announcer cleared his throat and spoke into the mic.

"*ahem* Ladies and gentlemen, it seems that our late competitor is finally here! It's about time as well! Only 9 seconds before elimination! Sorry Mewtwo, maybe next time!" his voice boomed over the microphone. Robin mumbled insults under her breath.

"Yeah yeah you washed up college flunky…"

"I heard that! I hear everything! But enough of this, are you fellows ready to rumble!?" the audience went insane. They cheered as loud as they could. "That's what I like to hear! Ready you two? Too bad! Ready or not, here we go!" the hype settled down so they could watch the match.

"3!  
2!

1!

Go!" he announced. The crowd sat back and watched the two go at it. (Okay, something real quick to make note of here, all of the smashers have fans. Ranging from Bowser Jr. to Cloud. All of the smashers have fans and people who adore them. So, while they are relaxing or staying inside the mansion, it is fine to be laid back and show more of their lenient sides to swearing and jokes. But on the outside, it was time to be their calm and composed selves. If Corrin steps on a Lego at the mansion, it is okay for him to yell "DAMN IT!" and be fine. But if he runs his defenseless toes into the wall outside where people can see him, he must act calm and composed. SO it transitions from said swear word, to "Ouch! That did hurt, but I'm sure I'll be fine later." Mainly on the outside world will you see smashers being more respectful and proper than mundane and vulgar. Except for Dark Pit. It was really hard to get that anti-angel to behave. But then again, if that's really his character, who's to say we should change him? The answer is everybody. No really, he is off the charts. It's always some vulgar, rude, or sexual remark here and there. But, aside from that, all smashers remained in the respectful character that they should be. You can quit taking notes here. You were taking notes, right?)

Meanwhile…

It had taken 45 minutes for Ike to get home, get a shower, clean up the whiskey and glass in his carpet, and crawl back into bed. He had finally laid his head down to rest when somebody knocked on his door. But before he could answer, Roy kicked open the door. He ran inside and through the living room. Quickly, he turned the small corner into Ike's bedroom. Ike opened a single eye.

"What do you want Roy? My head still hurts. If this could wait, that'd be great." he yawned.

"Dude, guess what!? The best thing happened to me!" he spoke quickly. Ike sighed.

"You're finally coming out of the closet?"

"What!? No! I'm taking Palutena to dinner tonight!" he exploded. He was clearly very enthusiastic. Ike rolled over.

"News flash, I don't care."

"Oh come on, Ike! This is special! Your boy Roy is going on a date!" Ike rolled back over.

"Wait, is Pit coming?" he asked in a serious voice. Roy scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Pfft-hahahaha!" Ike broke out into mad laughter. He could hardly breathe. Roy waited patiently for him to finish. "Dude! Hahaha! That's not-hahaha! That's not a date! It's just a-ahaha! It's just a family outing!" he couldn't help himself. Roy grit his teeth, trying his best to be patient. But now he couldn't help himself either.

"Little Mac told me you smashed Robin."

"WHAT!?" he jumped 70 feet off of the bed. Roy smirked.

"Well, he didn't say that exactly, but he posted something similar on Smashbook." he pulled up the phone and pulled up the post. He tossed the phone over to Ike, who snatched it up hungrily.

Smashbook (basically a mixture of Facebook and Twitter)

'POST BY *YA BOI MAC BABY* AT 9:32 AM. "My main man Ike getting it big time. _Woo woo!_ Tell Robin (F) I said hi." 1128 LIKES, 3277 VIEWS, 453 THROWS (retweets/reposts), 2655 COMMENTS'

"Holy hell! Why would he post that!?" Ike shouted. His muscles bulged and the phone began making weird sounds.

"Don't crush my phone Ike!" Roy quickly snatched it back. "So you really did screw Robin? Was it the whiskey or…?"

"No! That didn't happen! She fell asleep in my arms all night! Those are two different things! Master Hand is going to squish me with a mallet!" his hands shot up to his head. "Ugh, pain…"

"Well, dude, if you didn't get the hoo-haa, why is he saying something different?" Roy tapped on his chin.

"I told him in the elevator that we slept together, but I didn't mean sex kind of sleeping together! Oh my gods, oh my goddesses. What the absolute shit am I going to do!? Dude, I-oh my gods…" Ike was totally freaking out. He pulled his own phone out of his drawer. "It hasn't even been an hour since he posted it and it's already got over 3000 views! It's going to get even more! How many followers does Little Mac have?" he asked frantically. Roy glanced at his phone and gulped.

"Um...a little over 9 million."

"9 MILLION FOLLOWERS!? THE WHOLE WORLD IS GOING TO KNOW! WHY IS HE SO POPULAR!?" Ike snatched Roy up by the collar. "TELL ME YOU'RE LYING YOU BASTARD!"

"I-Ike! I'm serious! Let go, I haven't done anything wrong!" Ike pushed Roy back and crumpled to the floor.

"Oh my gods...Robin (F) is going to kill me...Other Robin is going to kill me...Master Hand and Rosalina are going to kill me...Sheik is going to kill me...Marth is never going to let this go...Pit won't look at me the same...on the plus side, I guess Dark Pit will think I'm a king...Squished with a mallet...Robin (F) is going to kill me again...to hell with it. I'm just going to go back to sleep, and this will all go away…" he crawled back into his bed and wrapped himself in warm blankets. "Feel better already."

"Ike, don't you go to sleep. Get up and deal with this." Roy commanded. Ike's face was burrowed into a pillow.

"I don't wanna." his voice was muffled. Roy yanked the blankets off and pulled Ike out of bed.

"Get up Ike. Come on, your boy Roy is here to help. Feeling sorry for yourself won't help anything, it just makes you look like a pussy." Roy closed his eyes and folded his arms. Ike got up and walked into the other room. "Good-wait, where are you going?" Roy followed him to see him opening up the second bottle of Jack Daniels. The red-haired smasher tackled him to the ground before he could do that.

"Roy!"

"Ike, no! You're not drinking right now! Now I could care less on whether you got some ass or not, but you do seem to. So get up," Roy pulled him on his feet. "Get on your A-game," he smacked the spit out of Ike. "And pull yourself together!" he fussed. Ike shook himself out of it.

"Hey, you're right! I got this! I'm a man!" he broadened his chest.

"Hell yeah you're a man! You a strong man!"

"You bet your ass! I'm a man! A man with a dick!"

"Yeah! A big peepee! You're a man!"

"I got this! I'm not a pussy, I'm a man! A manly man with a dick!"

"Damn straight! You ain't no pussy! You're a man with a manly man's big weewee!" Roy added.

"I got that in the bag! This ain't no problem at all! I am a manly man with a manly man's manly big dick!

This continues for some time…

Meanwhile…

Robin was down to her last stock while Mewtwo was on his second. He had been able to maneuver around her camping projectiles and was slowly taking her down. She was at 33% while Mewtwo was at 77%. The two couldn't see the audience due to the simulation, but they could mildly hear them. Robin air-dodged away from Mewtwo's up-smash.

"I've got to figure someway to get rid of him!" as obvious as it sounded, she was right. She landed next to him and threw him backwards. Quickly, she turned and shot a fully charged Elthunder. It caught him at the edge of the blast zone, taking his stock. Mewtwo came down from the floating platform and slashed Robin backwards. She attempted to get up, but she was hit with a low-charged shadow ball. He grabbed and down threw her, swatting Robin with his tail. The pokemon jumped and f-aired her twice, slashing her through the air and catching her second jump. As she was falling to her doom, he fast-fell and attempted to d-air (a downwards kick that meteor smashes/spikes). He barely missed and Robin jumped back up to grab the ledge. She rolled back onto the stage.

"Ouch!" her body ached. They still felt pain, but not stabby stabby kind of pain. "He is kicking my ass. What if I-"

"GAME!" the announcer shouted. Robin looked around confusedly.

"W-what? What happened?" the simulation disappeared and she was standing on a large platform in the middle of an audience. They were cheering super loudly.

"The winner is…" the camera zoomed in. "ROBIN!" he announced. Robin didn't strike a pose as she was too confused on what happened. She raised a hand and waved.

"Thank you! Thank you everyone! It was about time his streak was ended!"

"Oh! What a match!" the announcer interrupted. "Mewtwo seemed to have control of the situation! It seems he fell a little too far when trying to K.O. Robin, rendering him unable to make it back to the stage! Although it may be a drag to lose by self-destruct, but as this business goes, WE TAKE THOSE!" so that's what happened. Mewtwo accidentally killed himself when falling to take-out Robin. Well, the win still went to Robin, so who really cares? A lot of people actually. There were several pissed crowd members. Speaking of which…

"Gawd Dammit! I put ma lifes savings on this here match and the damn Mewtwo lawst!?" an old man stamped his foot in the audience. He decided to put his money on Mewtwo and just lost. He seemed quite upset.

"Yes! I just knew Robin would pull through for me! I put every penny I had on her!" A handsome guy cried out. He stroked his smooth chin and congratulated himself.

"Bull! I've lawst all meh money 'cause of you!" the old man pointed a jointed bony finger at him.

"Hey pal, not my fault that you voted for that loser pokemon. I just know when and where to put money where my mouth is." the handsome guy smile, light shining off of his teeth.

"You! You done ruined everything! I'm homeless 'cause of you!"

"Don't blame me for your own poor choices in life old man. Unless, you want to do something about it!?" he threatened.

"Imma kill ya!"

"Old man, don't throw your life away. I'd defeat you in one hit." he boasted. The old man started shouting like a hooligan and rushed straight at the handsome guy, swinging his balled up fist in circles. The handsome guy laughed and brought his hand back.

"What're ya gonna do now tough guy!?" the oldie yelled. Swiftly, the handsome man knocked him away with the back of his hand. The old man went sprawling on the ground.

"Ewe-ahh…" he groaned.

"Hahaha! What're you going to do now, tough guy!?" spittle flew out of the handsome guy's mouth as he mocked the old man.

"I'm going to have to teach you a lesson," the guy cracked his knuckles, "aren't I?"

"N-n-no. I'm sorry...please don't hurt meee…"

"It's too late." Others stopped to watch the treachery with wide mouths and confused eyes. Handsome man laughed and kicked him while he was down.

"Haha! Man, some day for you! You lose your life's savings and your dignity!" he stomped on him again.

'Please forgive me! Stop it, it hurts!" quivered the old man.

A sword raised towards Handsome Guy's neck.

"Remove thy foot from thee old man's head, or I shall take yours." a swordsman spoke. Handsome guy froze. Several gasps came from the audience.

"Who-who is that behind me? You'd better not do it, or c-consequences will be d-d-dire!"

The mysterious person smiled. "Please. The worst that would come to me is a deduction of rations. Now, I shan't repeat myself. If I count to three, I will kill you." Handsome guy shivered.

"1."

"Okay man! Jeez! Take a chill pill! He attacked me first anyway!" he took his foot off the oldie's head. Old man ran around in circles, clearly out of his mind.

"Are-are you going to let me go now?"

"Give the old man half of your earnings."

"Half!? Are you kidding me!? NO!" Handsome guy's tone changed when he felt a tiny slit on the back of his neck.

"O-okay. He can have half. Hell, he can take 75% percent! What is money these days!?" beads of sweat dropped from his face.

"I thought you'd say that." The swordsman bashed the hilt of his blade onto Handsome Man's head, thus knocking him out. Some people hooted and told the mysterious man how he was really cute. Only the fangirls though. They yelled and asked him his name, although all of them already knew.

"My name?" he ran a smooth hand through his blue hair. "Most people call me the Hero King. But my name is Marth. Why do you ask?" Fangirls drooled and snapped many pictures. Flashes went off like he was some movie star. Marth used his signature move and flicked his air. And the crowd goes wild. Whistles and roses and gifts flew at the smasher. He smiled and waved them goodbye, grabbed the collar of Handsome Man and dragged him out.

Robin was at the front counter. She handed the man her card, allowing him to immediately add funds to it. If she didn't have her card, he would just put it into her account regardless. The man pushed his black glasses up.

"This was a big match. You somehow ended Mewtwo's streak. There was a lot of money bet on him. Minus tax and the SSB Commission Fee, here's your cut." he turned the computer screen towards her and she put her hands over her mouth.

"T-that's what I just made? Are you sure?" the man nodded. Despite him being behind a counter, she pulled him into a hug. "Thank you! This means so much!" the man didn't know how to react. He was just doing his job. She let him go and he handed her back her card.

"Don't thank me, thank your haters. I'm sure those who did bet on you will be just as happy. You take care." he nodded. She silently cheered as she took her card back. Marth and his crowd of fangirls were approaching.

"Robin! Congratulations my friend!" he greeted. He definitely had the proper and respectful part down packed. She smiled back.

"Thank you! I didn't know you were watching."

"Congratulations on not just the match, but you and Ike as well!" she stopped in her tracks.

"W-what!?" she fiercely looked him into the eye. He held his arms open (one behind him as he was dragging Handsome Man).

"Why, Little Mac has said it all. I'm happy for you and Ike finally becoming a couple. Let alone taking it to the second leve-"

"Y-you dare!?" she yelled. The tactician winded back her left hand and smack the pretty out of Marth. He and his fans went dead silent as she angrily marched out of the building. A light-red hand print was etched on his face. He winced and turned back.

"O-ouch. I s-supposed that was more personal. I'll have to be more cautious next time. Isn't that right ladies?" he turned and smiled. Cheers and hoots and hollers filled the room.

Robin was walking home in the hot sun, scared half to death and wondering where Marth had gotten such a rumor from.

"Little Mac? But we didn't even do anything last night. How would he-" she remembered what happened on the elevator. Quickly she pulled out her phone and checked Smashbook.

Smashbook

'POST BY *YA BOI MAC BABY* AT 9:32 AM. "My main man Ike getting it big time. _Woo woo!_ Tell Robin (F) I said hi." 1756 LIKES, 3664 VIEWS, 457 THROWS (retweets/reposts), 2723 COMMENTS'

"That son of a-" she looked to her side to see a woman and her child walking together. The child immediately recognized her and ran over.

"Hey! Mommy look! It's the girl Robin! I can't believe you are in front of me!" he hugged her leg. The woman looked excited, but also apologetic. Robin mouthed 'it's fine.' and looked at the kid.

"Hey little guy! Nice to always have a fan!"

"Can I have your autograph? Please please please?" the mother grabbed his hand.

"Now now June. I'm pretty sure that Robin also has things she needs to do."

"Oh, don't worry. It's completely fine." she pulled a pen out of her pocket. She was always prepared for this kind of thing. "Now, who is this going to?" she winked. June's eyes sparkled.

"It's for me and my mommy!" she scribbled down her signature as well as an inspirational quote.

"There you go little guy. You two take care now!" she waved as they walked off. In the distance, she heard.

"Yay! This is the best day ever!" it warmed her heart that doing something so simple could make one's day better. Then she remembered the post from Little Mac and her heart struck cold all over again. It took about ten minutes for her to walk back to the mansion. The mansion was covered by flowers, accessories, and beautiful artwork. It wasn't between a bunch of buildings, no. Aside from the garage, it was a huge landscape of flowers and fountains and scenery. Many acres of land as it sat at the very edge of the city. She walked through the double-doors and to her room. She was super hungry and still needed to check up on her brother. It was a busy day.

Meanwhile…

"Okay, so just to make it clear, I am a non-pussy manly man over other manly men with a manliest manly men's massive manly horse cock, topped with a manly atmosphere, manly chest, manly man's hair, and manliest manly man's manly voice to establish that I am a manly man and not a pussy, although manliest manly either way in a manly manner." Ike repeated. Roy nodded his head.

"Yep yep! Now, let's find a way to deal with this." he sat down on Ike's couch.

"Okay, I'll just kick Little Mac's ass and make him delete the post." he concluded. Roy shook his head.

"1. No. 2. Little Mac is our friend. 3. He would beat the living shit out of you in a hand-to-hand combat. 4. No fighting allowed. Remember? Why don't you just ask him to delete the post?"

"Fine." Ike texted Little Mac why he should take the post down.

Text Format

Dude, remove the post

Huh. what's up. Why

tht wasn't what I meant. we didn't have sex

Oh, my bad. but it isn't rly a big deal

right?

she is going to kill me. sheik rosalina master hand marth pit. they will annihilate me

damn dude. I'll try to delete the post.

,,,

Dude, we have a problem

What happedne

*happened

There are 529 throws on it. Other people have shared and posted it.

deleting mine won't get rid of them all

…

Ike?

…

bro u still there

End of Text Format

Ike had his phone face down on the table.

"We're going to need a plan B." he told Roy.

"Why? What happened? Why wouldn't he take it down? What an asshole."

"No, he tried to take it down, but too many other people have already thrown it. I'm not su-" Robin kicked in the door, heated as ever. She threw the damn book on the floor and unsheathed her Levin sword.

"Ike! What the hell did you do!? I'll take your head right here!" she growled. He put his hands up.

"It's not what you think! It wasn't even me! I'm trying my best to solve the problem!" she was still fuming. She threw the blade to the floor.

"Oh gods. What are we going to do? Master Hand is going to squish me with a mallet." she held her head in her hands. Ike checked his followers.

"I've got a little over 4 million followers. Perhaps I should-woah." people were blowing his account up with messages. He had 300+ messages from smashers and 900+ messages from followers. "Nevermind. Scratch that idea."

"This is your fault Ike!" Robin pointed. "If you hadn't of gone around telling people how we were cuddling together, this never would have happened!" she fussed.

"My fault? This is your fault! You're the one who didn't go back to your room last night! This could have been avoided!"

"Well if you hadn't of gotten me all souped up with your damn alcohol, I would've never stayed over!"

"And if you hadn't of been so bad at Mario Kart, then you wouldn't have had to worry about drinking!"

"You're the one who was holding me so tight! You could have gotten me half-drunk for just that reason! How do I know that you didn't have your way with me last night!? I didn't give consent."

"We awoke fully clothed! Besides, I'm not even that type of guy! And consent? Consent!? You're the one who was resting on my shoulder first!"

"I'm sorry that you decided to sit sooooo close to me, you intolerable asshole!"

"Okay, maybe the wrong move but you're the one who thought I'd be a perfect cushion!"

Roy peeked his head over the couch that he was hiding behind.

"Mom, dad, please stop fighting…"

"Shut your dumbass up!" they said in unison.

"Don't copy me Robin! It's bad enough that I'm being blamed for this mess that you started!"

"Me, copying you!? Please, get real. I was not only alive first, but on this planet before you! And quit blaming this on me! This is obviously your fault."

"You were alive first? I'm older than you! And this isn't my fault!"

"You have to be joking. How old are you then?"

"I'm 24."

"I am also 24."

"Well, you know what? Age doesn't matter! Not now or ever. But Robin, sometimes you just have to own up to the problems that were started."

"Yeah, I know. I'm waiting for you to do that now."

"And as smart as you are, you still refuse to understand!"

Roy stood up, feeling safe. "You two really do argue like a married couple." both of them snapped their heads in his direction. "You know what I mean?"

"Shut your damn mouth!" they said in unison, once again. They simultaneously shoved Roy back to the floor.

"Ike, quit bullying Roy!"

"What are you talking about!? You pushed his as well!"

"I was being playful! You were being rough and mean!"

"There is no way in the world that I would call that 'playful'. You just don't want to make yourself look awful, like you really are."

"Yeah, and you don't want to make yourself look like the dickhead YOU really are!"

"*mockingly* Ooooh, Robin has an attitude on her."

"Ugh, I can NOT deal with you right now! Just leave me alone!"

"Yeah, walk away! I can't stand to hear your voice anymore!" Robin stared at Ike with her cheeks puffed out slightly in anger. Ike looked back with eyebrows down in resentment. She turned away and sat down.

"Hmph!"

"Oh yeah? Two can play at this game." they sat across from each other but facing away. Both of them were clearly angry and trying their best to not say things they shouldn't. Ike was trying his best to calm down before he broke something. He glanced back to see Robin wiping a tear or two from her eyes. Instantly, he felt terrible, although he knew she didn't feel the same. He was still pissed off, but inside he knew that they were both being stupid. It was just questionable on who was being the bigger asshole, or if it really mattered at all. He sighed. The two hadn't even noticed that Roy had left until he came back.

"Hey guys, I brought somebody that might be able to help." he poked his head around the corner.

"Roy, if it's Palutena, I will be angry with you." Robin replied. Instead, Mario came around the corner. He was dressed in his doctor's outfit.

"It-a seems you two are- having your own sort of-a crisis, yes?" he frowned. They both looked at him and nodded.

A little bit later…

Mario was not only a certified therapist, he was a doctor, dentist, chiropractor, plumber, and a psychiatrist. The doctor was sitting down with his foot on his other knee, listening to everything the two were telling him.

"Well, I did-a see the post from-a Little Mac today. I can-a guarantee that Master Hand will-a indeed squish you with a mallet." the two looked horrified. "Unless-a you can persuade him that-a the post is, indeed incorrect. But-a for now, since he is off-a handling business, let's-a see if we can handle this on our owns. Also, Robin, you-a sound tired. Did-a you sleep well last-a night?" he asked. She was sitting on the opposite side of the table, right next to Ike.

"Actually, yeah. I slept wonderfully. Probably the best sleep I've ever had." Ike jumped out of his chair.

"So you did love my embrace!?"

"Oh will you can it weirdo?"

"No, admit it! I want you to say it! I want to hear the words!" the two began arguing. Mario held a hand up.

"Do you-a also want marriage counseling?"

"No!" they shouted in unison. Mario started laughing. Roy snickered in the background.

"Oh come-a on! You two are even in-a sync when yelling!"

"No we're not!" they both said. They looked at each other, looked away, and huffed.

"Okay, let's-a go. I've got an idea. Ike, text all of-a your friends and-a Little Mac. They-a need to meet us in-a the theatre room." he stood up and signaled to follow. Ike and Robin stood up, but not talking with each other. Mario snapped his fingers and Roy opened the door.

"Thank you Roy." Ike whispered. He nodded as they all walked out.

The smash mansion was just the smallest part of the smash community possible. It was meant to provide housing for the smashers and staff. Mainly smashers though. But it had several luxuries free to use to help the smashers work, stay healthy, and be entertained. Things for themselves, such as TV's so you could play Mario Kart and yell filthy words at each other, would have to be purchased by the smashers, as it is not a luxury provided by Master Hand. The theatre room, a room amongst many other joyful rooms, was indeed free to use. They would have to sign in and tell everyone that was in the theatre room and how long. Not that much to do for free use. Marth couldn't come, due to him hanging out with fans (and talking with the ladies), Lucina had a huge headache, as she had just awoken. Link also had a huge headache, but he was being dragged away by Zelda from store to store. Little Mac would be there, but he was in the middle of something and would take around fifteen minutes to get there. In the meantime…

"Mario, while you get cameras set up and stuff, do you think that I could go check up on Robi-well, my brother Robin really quick? He wasn't feeling well ear-"

"Sure. Just-a be back in fifteen minutes." he flashed a thumbs up while looking through a camera. She looked back at Ike, who was playing with a bunch of dummy dolls, and left. The theatre room was on the third floor, for not particular reason. After walking all the way to Robin's room, she opened up to find him still sleeping. It was almost 12:00 pm, which was really strange, seeing how he and her were the two most orthodox of smashers and got up the earliest. She shook him awake.

"Hey, Robin. Wake up."

"H-huh? What time is it!? What happened?" he jumped on his feet.

"Woah, dude. Calm down, it's just me. I came to check and see if you're feeling better." he looked around and stretched.

"Oh, I am feeling a MILLION times better. I guess the sickness got tired of me." he said. He looked at the clock and winced. "Wow. I've been sleep for way too long. Ugh. How was your match." he asked. Her eyes sparked up.

"I got a big win today! So many people bet against me, so this is easily the most money I've ever earned in one match!" she sparkled.

"Wow. How much did you get?" she looked over her shoulder to make sure nobody was listening.

"Don't tell anyone. Minus tax and the SSB commission fee, I made around 4 grand." Robin (M) doubled over and hit the floor. He could hardly believe it himself. "Here, take my card. I want you to go to the store and pick up as much food and/or whatever you want. Don't hold back. Consider it as an, hm, early birthday present." she smiled. He started to protest, but she already knew he would.

"Four thousand!? R-Robin, I can't! That insane for a single match! There's no way I can accept that offer-"

"Now now, I didn't say you could 'have' the money, you can help 'spend' the money, if you know what I mean. Now, get dressed and head out before it gets too hot. I have some things to deal with. Good to know you're feeling better!" She waved and closed the door behind her, leaving the card on the countertop. He tried to stop her, but it was too late.

"Wow. She must've absolutely destroyed Mewtwo to get that much money. That is so good!" he was still celebrating. With the SSB Mansion's cafe/cafeteria closed down for remodeling, it was essential that the smashers currently had food for the next few months. Quickly, he changed clothes and stuffed his phone in his pocket. Robin (M) grabbed the card and stretched again.

"Ugh. Man, I'm hungry." he grabbed his keys and walked out. The key to his room and to his bicycle. Like his sister, he was still getting used to technology. He was already astonished by his phone, so he had no need for a car. Bikes were fine though, as he enjoyed the simple mechanics of pedaling to go faster or slower. Anyway, after some time, he exited the mansion. Pit was entering and nearly bumped into him.

"Oh, hey Robin. You feelin any better?" he smiled. Robin nodded.

"Much, much, much better. What's going on with you though?"

"I think what you mean to ask is what's going on with your sister. Have you even talked to her today?"

"Yeah. I just talked to her a few minutes ago. I didn't notice anything wrong." Pit shook his head and walked past.

"For shame! I'm disappointed in you, her, and Ike to think that such a shameful act is okay in the presence of Lady Palutena! For shame Robin! For shame!" he walked away without giving any context. Robin scratched his head.

"Shameful acts? What, did somebody cheat or something?" he was really confused on what Pit was talking about. Ignoring the conversation, he unlocked his bike from its prison and rode off. "It is so damn hot out here." he rode down the crooked hills into the city.

Meanwhile…

Little Mac burst through the theatre room doors to find Ike, Roy, Robin (F), Mario, Shulk, and Corrin staring back.

"Alright, I'm here. What's the plan? We makin a movie?"

"Just-a get over here so I can-a show you-a the ropes. Let's-a get to work!" Mario ordered. After very much time and hard work, the group figured that they had finally created the perfect video to undo the misdoing. Roy wiped sweat off his forehead.

"Man, acting sure is difficult."

"We weren't acting dude. This is serious. We were being serious." Corrin folded his arms. Roy shrugged.

"Okay everybody!" Mario stepped up from the computer. "It-a seems that all of-a the editing has been-a completed! Now, all-a we need to do is-a to get all of-a us to post the video. I've sent it to-a you guys so you can-a post it now!" Mario congratulated. Ike was still anxious.

"I wouldn't celebrate yet. Let's just make sure it worked." they had been working all day. It was already 8:20 pm and the original post by Little Mac had over 16 million views. Everyone took a deep breath and posted the video. Each of them had plenty of followers and with enough time, the whole situation would erase from memory. But you're probably curious about the video. Yep, you are aren't you? Well I'm not telling about it.

…

Stop looking at me like that! Fine! The video:

Ike was standing off in the white distance. He began running to the screen, running and running and running. After a full minute, he arrives and is standing right in front of you. He's out of breath, and the suddenly, he's not. He says one word.

"No." the screen immediately cuts to Robin and Little Mac. Mac begins talking.

"There has been a huge misunderstanding. I was wrong, very very wrong." he says. Robin steps forward.

"Many of you have heard from a post made by, 'YA BOI MAC BABY', that me and another popular smasher, Ike, were involved romantically and physically. Well, sorry, but that's not true. There was a problem with wording and things got out of control." the screen faded to Roy sipping tea out of a giant mug. He launched the cup behind him and the sound of glass cracking is in the distance.

"We all apologize for the mix-up and inconvenience. Although Ike is too ugly to get a girlfri-" Ike boots Roy off the screen. He scratches the back of his head.

"Anyway, Little Mac slipped up and created a false alarm. We are all friends here. No need to worry, we haven't shamed ourselves yet!" he flashed a smile. The screen flipped over to Shulk and Corrin, who were leaning on each other back-to-back. Corrin starts first. They speak back and forth.

"So to all the fans out there,"

"Who get all mushy gushy over this kind of thing,"

"You're about to have a bad day,"

"Because,"

"Unfortunately for you,"

"It's not a thing."

"Boohoo."

"Take your ships elsewhere,"

"Because this isn't a celebrity dating simulator!"

"I mean it could be if we try hard enough-"

"A-anyway, thanks for understanding!" Corrin bows, knocking Shulk off balance and the two falling into a pile. At the very end, Yoshi jumps in.

"Yoshi!" The screen then cuts to a sign that reads "SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!" with a chibi Mario shrugging next to it. The video ends.

Ike was wiping his forehead off with a towel. They were cleaning the glass from the broken mug and turning everything off. He was hoping the video worked more than anything. Although he was annoyed that it took hours for them to make a two minute long video, he felt bad about the argument from earlier. Everyone was packing things in. Robin had been in and out during the day. She did her match with Kirby and lost, but for some reason, she didn't seem to mind. Ike watched her yawn from across the room. It sucked that they had lost a whole day over this, but it was kind of fun. The group began to leave.

"Nice-a work Roy. Good-a job Shulk. Killing it out-a there, Corrin. Very-a nice Robin." Mario was complimenting people out the door. Ike looked at Little Mac.

"Dude, don't do that again." he begged. Little Mac held his hands in the air.

"Yeah, I won't. My bad." the two left while Mario cut the lights off. Ike saw Robin walking down the hall. By the time he already walked behind her, she knew who it was. Robin sighed.

"What do you want Ike?"

"Tea and biscuits sound just fine right now. Could I have some?" she looked at him without amusement. "I would like to apologize." he sheepishly smiled. She raised an eyebrow and began walking up the stairs. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to your room. I need to get my sword and tome." Ike remembered that she did indeed leave her sword and the damn book in his room. She probably put it back in there after her team battle with Kirby. This could be his chance. He followed her back to his room silently. She attempted to open the door, but to no avail.

"Robin,"

"What is it?" she turned towards him impatiently. He was jiggling his keys in the air. "Oh ha ha." she snatched the keys away from him and opened the door. An old lady was watching them from around the corner far down the hall.

"But seriously," he started when they entered and shut the door. "I'm sorry. I was being an asshole. I rea-"

"No, I was an asshole. I started it by blaming you. It's completely my fault." she interrupted. Ike shook his head.

"Don't take the blame. It was all on me. I overstepped my boundaries. I called you some pretty mean thi-"

"But Ike, I deserved it. Really, I did and still do. I really want to say I'm sorry." she said. Ike shook his head.

"I should be the one sorry. Whether you forgive me or not, it's-"

"Of course I do, but will you forgi-"

"Without question."

Robin hugged Ike. And he hugged her back. Roy opened the door to see the two holding each other.

"God damn it guys. We just made a frickin video and if we have to make another because you're fickle, I'm going to beat the shit out of you." he slowly closed the door. On the other side of the door, he mumbled something about them being impossible. Robin's face burned into red and she pushed Ike away.

"W-wait! This is just another one of your schemes to seduce me isn't it!? I trusted you!"

"What? No! I was just trying to hug it out! That's all!" he reasoned. Robin grabbed the damn book and picked up her sword.

"Yeah yeah, Like I believe that story!" She opened the door. "Well nice try! I'm smarter than that you freak!" she slammed the door shut behind her.

"You hugged me first!" he held his hand out, but it was too late. "Come on Roy, seriously? Now she thinks I'm some perv. Well, I am a perv, but not that kinda perv. Giggity." he sighed and counted his fingers.

"1. She sleeps in my arms.

2\. I see a boob.

3\. A cheek kiss.

4\. *sigh* Abandon ship. Back to square one. I gotta say, that is not at all what I thought number four would be if you catch my drift! Choo choo!" he facepalmed. "I need to stop talking to myself."

Meanwhile…

Robin's (M) clothes were torn and ripped. He had deep-red scratch and bite marks on him. He had only brought one bag of groceries home with him. His bike was nowhere to be seen. It was dark outside. He stumbled and fell to the ground right in front of the mansion door. Two footsteps approached him. That voice, old and raspy.

"My my, boy, it seems your bad deeds have been repaid."

* * *

 **Real question though, are the chapters too long? I can make them shorter in order to make the story longer, or I'm not sure if the way it is now is satisfactory or not. Either way, don't be shy! I don't bite (sometimes). Feel free to leave a review and tell me how I'm doing. Aside from that, sleep well, eat well, and don't be a meanie. Words of wisdom. K bye.**

 **that is, if you're still reading of course.**


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